


Legends

by OneMoreStory



Category: Xī yóu jì | Journey to the West - Wú Cheng'en
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneMoreStory/pseuds/OneMoreStory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sand and the Horse coax entertainment from the Pig in the form of re-tellings of the exploits of their illustrious elder brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"They say," the Pig began, in a low voice over barely heard over the crackling fire, "that he broke near every demon-binding chain in Heaven as they tried to tie him down."

On many a night such as this, when the master and three disciples were camped beneath the stars in an unpopulated wood, and the Pig was in a particularly loquacious mood, Sand and the Horse coaxed entertainment from the Pig in the form of retellings of the exploits of their illustrious elder brother.

"Now, we all know that the Erlang Immortal and all Six Brothers of Mei Mountain weren't enough to get walloped by him. Everyone's heard of that. But what most don't know is that, the real trouble began after he was captured."

Here the Pig paused to make sure that the subject of the discussion had not returned from scouting. His audience followed his lead, glancing furtively around the gloom around them for any flashes of gold. Then, feeling secure, all huddled closer to the Pig.

"They had to use hooks. Lanced, right though here." The Pig held up a stubby forefinger and thumb, and pinched his own collar bones - or where they should be beneath a sturdy layer of fat. "Keeps the prisoner from gathering any strength, see? The more furiously he tries to struggle, the more it drains him."

"I have seen them, caught a glimpse as the foot soldiers rushed to the Execution Platform with them… They looked like ship's anchors." Sand confirmed, for the benefit of the wide-eyed Horse. 

"Then there was the problem of executing him." The Pig continued.

"Lighting. Swords. Arrows, peppering down like rain in a thunderstorm. All three hundred thousand Heavenly Hounds, set loose at him with orders to devour." 

The Pig paused to take a swig of something from his calabash bottle.

"Couldn't kill him." he said, as he finished swallowing.

The Pig leaned forward, breath suspiciously musty. "Doesn't mean it didn't hurt him, of course." 

"They say that his blood boiled as the lightning struck and evaporated from his body in a column of red steam. And then the dogs tore out every organ of his innards, ripped apart every inch of his flesh, until, finally, there was nothing left."

"Nothing but bones. That was what he was, at the end of it, a charred monkey skeleton hanging by great metal hooks the size of anchors to the Heavenly Execution Post."

The Pig lowered his voice to a whisper.

"But he wouldn't die. They say that even when his eyes were dug out, two spots of light remained in his skull. Long after his blood was drained dry, his annoying chirrup could still be heard echoing all through the halls of the Heavenly Palace, laughing at the Emperor and all his councilors at their wit's end trying to defeat him..."

"How?"

The Pig, Sand and the Horse all started. They had not noticed that Tang was listening, quite intently.

"Eh?" The Pig articulated.

"How did he laugh, if he was nothing but bone? Wouldn't his throat would be gone?"

"With pure will, Master. And, uh, spite. The elder brother, meaning no disrespect, has an extremely powerful ability to spite, as Master knows…"

"So yeah, reduced to a skeleton, and still laughing at the gods. That's what they say."


	2. Chapter 2

The Horse whinnied, a rather petulant noise.

Sand glanced briefly at the white stallion. "I agree. We've heard your story about the Moon Goddess enough times. Could you not choose another topic, brother?"

The Pig looked disappointed for only a moment before he brightened.

"Quite true, brothers! I haven't told you any tragic tales of romance starring our favorite eldest brother, have I?"

"Surely - " Sand began. He made the customary pause to check that there was no monkey in sight - "The eldest brother does not have… your interests?"

"That," said the Pig unabashedly, "is what you think. But now, I will tell you the real reason that the Great Sage Equaling Heaven devastated the Heavenly Peach Banquet five hundred years ago. "

"What was it?" Sand and the Horse leaned forward eagerly.

"Well," said the Pig, taking a customary swig from his calabash bottle, "it was a woman."

"You mean-!?"

"Yep."

"Do tell!"

"Ahem. Of all the beautiful lady immortals in the Heavenly Palace, none compare to the Moon Goddess - but some come close," the Pig added hastily, when both Sand and the Horse snorted.

"Indeed some would say that the Seven Maidens of the Rainbow are the most beautiful among the others. And certainly, all would agree, that the youngest, the maiden Violet, is the most beautiful sister."

Sand looked thoughtful.

"Stop faking," the Pig snickered, then told the horse in a stage whisper, "he's never seen them."

"The ladies keep to themselves. And the plague-struck monkey certainly would never have seen them if he hadn't been appointed Keeper of the Peach Garden -"

"I have always thought," Sand commented, "That it was a stupid idea to give a monkey the keys to a Peach Garden and expect any of the trees to still bear fruit."

"Yes, well, that's the Jade Emperor for you." The Pig said with some impatience at the interruption. "Anyway, he was Keeper of the Garden when the seven sisters went to do the customary Picking of the Peaches for the bi-millenial Heavenly Banquet."

"And so, monkey meets girl. You can imagine how uncouth and rude Violet first found the monkey. The great hairy creature, scrambling around everywhere… no, he had nothing close to my presence."

The Horse gave trill of laughter. Sand maintained a straight face.

"But love has a way of creeping up. They met three times, the first when the Maidens of the Rainbow were on duty. The second time, Violet herself sneaks out, you see, to meet the monkey, when he bet that she would not break a heavenly rule to do so."

"Huh," said Sand, looking, curiously, rather struck, and asked, "And the third time?"

"The third time… The monkey found Violet where she resided, where she was ordered to stay by her eldest sister, after her last escapade. The moment she saw him, she knew she had fallen for him, and he for her. He took her exploring, to the heavenly rivers of silver stars, the forests of fiery torches where the phoenixes are reborn, and, finally, the great cloud ranges - where the heavenly horses run wild, ever since the monkey himself had set them free - and they rode together into the sunset, stained violet with the magic of the seventh Rainbow Sister…" the Pig's face had taken on a dreamy expression. 

Sand, too, had a very strange expression on his face. If it weren't for the fact that he usually had a face as expressionless as a stone, anyone would immediately conclude that he was using every ounce of will he had to contain an enormous explosion within him.

The Horse, who's attention was still on the Pig, nudged him with his nose.

"Wha-? Oh, yes. Where was I. Well, as I know only too well, such precious moments rapidly come to an end when the unfeeling laws of Heaven cruelly intervene. Before the two could meet again, it was discovered that the Heavenly Peaches had been stolen, no doubt by the monkey for a snack, but the love-struck Violet, fearing for the life of the monkey, took the blame upon herself, and was sent to the Heavenly Dungeons. In the most heroic moment of his life, the monkey devastated the Heavenly Banquet, wreaked havoc in the Heavenly Palace, to search for the girl of his passion." the Pig finished, eyes shining, gesticulating wildly.

"I swear, if it weren't for his heroic stance for love back then, I would have never considered him worthy to be my elder brother." the Pig finished impressively.

A pause.

"Brother Sand, are you all right?"

Sand was rolling on the floor, his great shoulders shaking, his beard quivering with silent mirth. 

Both the Pig and the horse watched in absolute astonishment. Then both proceeded to wonder precisely the same thing, which was what Brother Sand's laugh actually sounded like.

When he finally threw his head back and let it out, it was a high-pitched and rather chattery sound.

Sand sat up, laughing out loud in Wukong's voice, and, in flash of gold, transformed into the monkey himself.

The Pig had sat down on the ground in shock. 

"W-where's Sand?" he spluttered finally.

"Out scouting. It's his turn tonight. No, you don't." Wukong added, as he pulled the Horse sharply back by the reins. "Your turn will come when I'm done with the pork steamed bun." he said, and with a clang, pinned the reins deep into the ground with his staff. 

Then, rolling up his sleeves, he stepped towards the Pig with a grin.


End file.
